I, the no-needs female. I, the stream-lined individual. I know that linear is more efficient than weaving-loom round, that agreeing is smoother than saying ‘No’, that people like me better when I take care of them.
I pretend to not know my mind, that I have no opinion. I close-my-eyes blind, to protect, to hide. I’m desperate to be safe, fear hounds, relentless, I put my self away. At times, the pain of pretending, denying, agreeing, and ‘yes-ing’ to all the bullshit bursts ahead of my fear, and I speak, I explode.
I apologize. I soothe. I polish. I tuck away, I put away this messy Janae. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
I hide, I fight to be thin, an impossible me that does not take up space. Heaven forbid I have hips, they betray me woman, not girl. They betray me strong, capable, full to round with sex-appeal. I live to mold my body straight, to be hidden behind the cliche so that no one will notice me or blame me for filling-out my seat.
I consolidate, negate, ignore, exile. I secure one-dimension living. I find the safe, the sound, the benign, the bland. Outside I could not be more commendable, approve-able, like-able. Inside I am all starve, silence, and be-little. I hide away my self, my many screaming, needing, begging, feeling, selves.
I need neat and I need tidy, because I want safety, I want sure.
I am accustomed to this tiny existence. Me, scurrying around the edges of my life. Me, apologizing for taking up space.
Now, I’m being pulled into more. Now, I’m being grown into, thrown into, more. An expansion, an upheaval, a frightening, take it back, I-don’t-want-this-much-freedom, more. I lament this overhaul. It is all I have ever wanted, it has been my greatest fear. Within this paradox, as I fight and ask for a return to small, I am tasting Larger.
I say again, it is all I’ve ever wanted. I am angry. I am confused. I am terrified.
speak friend. Your voice is beautiful. you have worth. people you may be “yesing” may be ready to feel with you how to live in the “no’s”… and if they aren’t ready yet? There are those of us out here that will listen. sooth. and rejoice in you creating anew.
I love that you said they “may be ready to feel with you how to live in the no’s” — that you included my feelings, that you brought my feelings into this, that is speaking love to me. Thank you Tara.
Yes, speak! As Tara has mentioned above, we need your voice. I come here and see that I am not alone.
I am going to write a sign that say “Speak” and put it on my fridge. {I stopped and just did it!} I agree with you and Tara, speaking is an active way to welcome. You are not alone, you are here and for that I am grateful.
i (want to) know women like you. i’m one of ‘em. let’s do tea and talk. we can listen to sara groves’ Add to the Beauty album together.
Yes- to tea and talk. Yes- to knowing women like us. You make me smile Bethany, I love your straight-forward, your declare. Thanks for visiting my blog, it’s a pleasure.
this is glorious.
you are so brave, you path-breaker. just now have found you, but i love you. <e
If I am brave, it is born from my desperation, my tiredness. Tired of trying so damn hard, for what? for whom? Mercy, but this life is hard. But this is the glory, this is the living. So glad you found your way here tonight Rachel. Thank you for your daring words.
I too, am starving….starved for the fullness I can only find in Him. I’m seeking this Advent more than ever. Yet business comes in and steals the wonder of it.
May we both find ways to seek out the full-ness we crave. Blessings as you journey deeper into the wonder of Christmas, friend.
{{big, squishy hugs}}
i hear you. yes.
<3
Thanks, friend.