I’m not sure when I stopped going through the front door. The past is hazy in all the areas where power has been forfeited. As I fumble back through my memories I’m met by blur. Regardless of when it started, what matters is that I know I stopped.
I’m too tired now a day to jump the fence and scurry past dirt and back alley to get to myself. There isn’t time to keep it kosher and comfortable for everyone {including myself}. I don’t have the energy to do all the passive-living I’ve done to keep everyone happy.
I need to access my true beliefs and longings. I need to honor myself. I need to get to myself and find myself when the dark descends. I need to reach me quickly in my crying and weary, in my joy and revelatory. I need to value myself as primary and worthy.
The front door is there. The front door is direct. The front door is mine.
And I’m using it.
Let the world see what fills my arms and life. Let the world see when I’m trembling and frightened. Let the world see that I’m committed to myself and my living.
…
A neighbor said to me tonight,
Maybe there is no answer.
I think she may be right.
…
‘committed to myself and my living’ …
oh friend, this. such bravery and goodness. i think sometimes we live with one foot in and one foot out of our lives, or that front door, ready to bolt. but you are striding in with your head high and determination and making this your declaration. “here i am.”
here you are.
beautiful.
Thanks, dear friend. xo
Here {we} are.
Beyond the good and bad, is us, living.
i love this so much, janae. There is boldness – beautiful, life-affirming boldness is walking right through the front door.
this hits on some of my biggest struggles: “all the passive-living I’ve done to keep everyone happy.”
lets just open the damn door and walk in. and then out again. into a new world.
ps. lets have a conversation about participation and the meaning of love.
It strikes me as funny that I won’t go through my own front door to make others happy, and the only reason they need me to make them happy is because they aren’t going through their own front doors either.
So really, by me living me, out-loud and unafraid, I’m encouraging others to do the same.
You never know what can start a revolution …
…
I’d love to have that conversation.
Let the world see that I’m committed to myself and my living.
love that!!!
love and light
Let them see,
Let them see.
Be it tears, fear, or triumph,
Let them see.
Love to you!
“Maybe there is no answer” gives us the freedom to live without right and wrong, morality, and the ever-present condemnation that goes along with it. JOY!! There IS ~all~
right about our front entry, we ARE the home with the SPIRIT, right and wrong can fade into IS. relief.
Out beyond,
“right and wrong can fad into IS.”
mmmmm…
love this.
xo