” … the outer {topside} world … is the only rope left around the ankle of the woman who is wandering, working, hanging upside down in the underworld.”
Women Who Run With the Wolves :: 424
…
As she is returning to full for a second time this month, I feel the swelling, the growing and the filling-out. If I’m honest, it is agitation that I feel full of; I’m worn-out weary of the constant growth and decline, of the wax and wane.
She is ever faithful to fill-out and dance-out her days, I’m trying to be as trusting and generous within my own life.
At times I want to cut the ties which anchor me into the daily rhythms. I want to pretend I am other than Moon’s daughter, because I get tired and because trusting that filling-to-swollen and then giving-to-gone seems an outrageous way to live.
…
One of the most amazing things about this long initiation is that the woman undergoing this process continues to do all the regular living of topside life: loving lovers; birthing babies; chasing children; chasing art; chasing words; carrying food, paints, skeins; fighting for this and the other; burying the dead; doing all the workaday tasks as well as this deep faraway journey.
A woman, at this time, is often torn in two directions, for there comes over her an urge to wade into the forest as though it is a river and to swim in the green, to climb to the top of a crag and sit face into the wind. It is a time when an inner clock strikes an hour that forces a woman to have sudden need of a sky to call her own, a tree to throw her arms about, a rock to press her check against. Yet she must live her topside life as well.
It is to her extreme credit that even though she many times wishes to, she does not drive her car into the sunset. At least not permanently. For it is this outer life that exerts the right amount of pressure to take on the underworld tasking. It is better to stay in the world during this time rather than leave it, for the tension is better and tension makes a precious and deeply turned life that can be made no other way.
Women Who Run With the Wolves:: 453
…
OH. How I appreciate these words right now. Very, very much my reality, my tiredness, my stretched-to-the-limit-and-more-ness… thank you for sharing the pain and the hope, the reality and the other reality. I love you and join in with you.
I can see you sinking into your weary and receiving yourself ‘as is’ – I feel your relief and release.
It is beautiful to feel your tension leaving as you pen those words, or perhaps it was my own, or both?
Either way, thanks, friend. xo
…and might I add, maybe one of my favorite works of your art. So descriptive and open, almost a reflection – super cool!
thank you.
<3
full
smiling
understanding
knowing
I hear you
I see you
we do grow tired
we do grow weary
it is then we must pour into ourselves all that we would pour into others
thus is our cycle
and our reminder
to take care of our selves
for there is no shame in
self love
blessed full moon to you my sister
love and light
ps…I am hosting a giveaway…would love for you to join in : )
Yes, thank you Cat. I need the reminder of self-care. I have not known how to do this and I’m still learning. blessings to you. xo
the artwork at the top moves me.
this idea of being pulled in two directions endlessly, has been a personal struggle for me since childhood.
reading this book now, and feeling the transformation.
why do some of us feel it acutely?
*sigh*
I can answer my own question, and yet I still yearn to ask it.
<3
i keep coming back…and back…
your words and the imagery always soothe the inner ruffles…
your art is healing for my wordless, and your words are soul-medicine.
so much love.
“the inner ruffles” huh?! <3
you are a beautiful, dynamic, wrestling woman — I admire you immensely. xo
Your art. And your words. Sweet Janae, I treasure you. Your words and encouraging messages. Thank you for being a part of my life.
to be treasured is truly one of the most lovely feelings.
i’m tucking into this, Willow. xo